Such fierce panic

terrible today I baked brownies that didn’t help I just threw a quiche in the oven but I know it won’t turn out because I didn’t leave the pie shell in the freezer long enough I just dumped in broccoli and cheese and milk and cream and eggs crack crack crack crack gasping for breath gasping hard my heart hammering away and popped it in the oven made it to my room to find a clonazapam floating around in the bottom of my purse now I’ve set the timer still gasping for breath taking in way too much air and tears this awful so glad my son isn’t here if I faint again I’ll just roll off the couch onto the floor this day animal nuzzling my throat getting closer in my throat calming breath (gasp) calming breath (gasp) calming breath head buzzing (gasp) okay I finally breathed down once stupid fish


tender I leaked from my side
raspy in dreamland
the lapdog slithered
from its nasty chain passed low
over Goldbar wing tipped 
on the outside where knives
quick and sharp and quick 
I didn’t stand a chance
there was hard splendor in the hotel
a shape without air
convulsions directed the clouds
how tall was the ladder you shook
to find me how long
the milky strand