Saturday, March 28, 2020

Pig and farm report

last night I dreamed I was teaching Whitman’s last lesson I left a jellyfish red blood bloom in his bathroom then tried to clean myself his mother’s friends were there getting ready for a party and when I finally got my violin out and he got his violin out and I managed to right the wire music stand which kept slipping out of my hands I played a few notes then apologized because I knew I would never see him again

the dream woke me at 2:30 then again at 4:30 then I finally woke at 7:30 feeling anxious and sad are we all dreaming through it I feel such a strong connection to everyone I’ve ever known right now it feels other worldly it feels like religious science fiction and what if we all start having the same dream or what if we already are having the same dream

my csa box arrived today bringing sweet blackberries and carrots and celery and radishes and scallions and leafy green lettuce and potatoes and a squash and oranges and kiwis and I was so grateful for it Page and I opened it like the first Christmas

I am going to be so lost when he travels east to tend to his father in two weeks if he even will be able to travel in two weeks this is a time when we all have to live in the now there is no future and the past is as faded as winter grass time is vast right now and at the same time urgent we are all in trauma we are all in fight or flight mode all the time and it skews every conversation

I get a sharp fierce headache once a day at random times that has me holding my head and yelping

I took this picture today at the seawall hello fellow travelers and sweet dreams


3 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Loving you.

March 28, 2020 at 5:29 PM  
Blogger Ramona Quimby said...

xoxo

March 28, 2020 at 7:24 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

We are all dreaming our versions of your dream, fearful for those we love. it does feel other worldly, all the more so because the monster is everywhere and nowhere, we don't know where or when or if, except of course for the orange monster on our tv screens, the tiny mind tantrum thrower who wants the governors to be more grateful for what he has withheld from them, from us. I'm here with you. I'll sit with you on the watch, loving you from six feet to the side.

March 29, 2020 at 9:45 AM  

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