Saturday, November 19, 2016

I have only been getting from two to three hours of sleep a night so last night I went back on the CBD this time Dama capsules and I slept a full eight hours and it is miraculous what a difference that makes

this morning The Surfer is here
this morning my stomach doesn't hurt
this morning I went to urgent care and got my pinky and the next door toe and my flip the bird toes all taped together because it turns out I broke both the pinky and the next door toe
this morning I walked to the creek in my furry furry boots and taped up toes and the salmon are there running copper and silver in the swollen water it made me cry with joy as they always do
this morning I went to the grocery store and managed to buy the rest of my Thanksgiving dinner stuff potatoes and cheese and stuff like that I had already bought most of everything weeks ago and I put it in Sweet Lime's trunk because I knew if I brought it in the house I'd accidentally pack it like I did at least two rolls of aluminium foil so far not to mention my opal ring which I think slipped off my finger when I was packing my boxes at top speed

this morning the guy who checks our water meter came out and I went to the door and called him SIR! HEY SIR! and he came (warily) to the porch (I was in my jammies) and I gave him a large box of Aplets and Cotlets™ I said here I said Happy Thanksgiving! these are for you! and he started crying a young man he said no one has ever given me anything but grief on this job all people do is complain about the price of water here and he thanked me and thanked me and thanked me then he hugged me and I'm just saying it was a $5 box of candy but delicious candy (Turkish Delight in fact if you are a Narnia lover which I have always been) and I always buy boxes for the mail carrier and whomever looks like they need some delicious Narnia confections it made me feel really good and he said I made his day and I believe him I'm not bragging about it which goes against my belief system it's just that right now people need a little extra bit of love

last Thanksgiving we had very little and I had to depend on the kindness of strangers to have even a small disappointing meal we had white blistered beans and cherry tomatoes and crackers last year it was a very very lean year

I have so much to be grateful for to all of you who read here who put up with me in 11 days I move into a gorgeous huge house that was made possible because my mother left me enough money when she kicked the bucket to buy it flat out I am not thankful to her for anything but dying the money she left me does not make up for torturing me throughout my life but I am so grateful for the house and for the crazy house market this year in Seattle that made it possible to buy the house in one week (after months of uncomfortable house hunting) and I won't have to pay rent ever again because I own the house outright and so I will be okay and I am thankful for the okay part and my Social Security and my pension and I am thankful that I am going to be making a spectacular dinner on Thanksgiving and I will have a good Christmas too in my new house that smells like the ocean and the forest

Alice called me when I was asleep and told me she'd be here today I texted her that I'd like to take her to breakfast to let me know when I haven't heard from her yet but I was so relieved to get her call

I've been sick with pancreatitis and Crohn's and my ulcers I've been sick to my stomach for the past two weeks because my body reads even good stress as STRESS but I feel like I'm swimming out of it now I had cottage cheese for breakfast and didn't die then I ate two tangerines and they are still in me and tomorrow night I'm getting my hair cut and Alice will be here and maybe I can see her and give her a hug and tell her I adore her and maybe we'll be okay

I love you all my Darklings you Kings of New England you Princes of Maine I love you all


Blogger Ms. Moon said...

I hear and understand every word you wrote. The thought of you being in such an amazingly better place this Christmas than last is enough to make my crazy heart happy. And I know about even the good stress being stress. Oh, god. Do I know. But here we are and I am so glad for you and we keep on, don't we? We just keep on and I am proud of us. Okay? You have the best heart, Rebecca, and I know it.

November 19, 2016 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

i am so excited for you and your forest island house with the romantic deck.

November 19, 2016 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger liv said...

I feel like singing !!!

At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest—unexpressed.

I hate parading my serenading,
As I'll probably miss a bar
But if this ditty is not so pretty,
At least it'll tell you how great you are.

You're the top! You're the Coliseum.
You're the top! You're the Louvre Museum.
You're the melody from a symphony by Strauss.
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare sonnet.
You're Mickey Mouse!

You're the top! You're Mahatma Gandhi.
You're the top! You're Napoleon brandy.
You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain.
You're the National Gallery; you're Garbo's salary,
You're cellophane!

You're the top! You're a Waldorf salad.
You're the top! You're a Berlin ballad.
You're the nimble tread of the feet of
Fred Astaire.
You're an O'Neill drama, you're Whistler's mama, you're Camembert!

Baby, you're the TOP!

November 19, 2016 at 5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love you too and so happy you will see your darling Alice. I adore Aplets and cotlets, but most of all your tender heart. Glad you are feeling better.

November 19, 2016 at 5:45 PM  
Blogger Elle Clancy said...

This is such a lovely entry. I can feel your joy. What better way to have Christmas than to wake up smelling the ocean and the forest?

And that last line is one of my favorite quotes....there is hope and love and blessings for all of us.

November 20, 2016 at 4:28 AM  
Blogger Maryrose Larkin said...


sleep is essential. also getting rid of dognurse is essential. xoxo my love

November 20, 2016 at 7:30 AM  

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