Epiphany.

I walked for miles along the beach yesterday and discovered these tracks that started up in the forest went through an entire still standing house then out of the house and into the water clearly there was never a train there I think perhaps it was used as a logging road a skid for the cedar forest that was so heavily depleted before the community stepped in and preserved all of this my son came home this morning and I made him walk for miles along the beach to take this photo to photograph this portal

all of this

afterwards I came home and worked on my dumb blanket (seriously I really have to learn more than two crochet stitches I'm 9/10ths of the way finished and I'm bored with it) then I swept my kitchen floor then moved all the chairs into the outer outer room then pulled the table to the center of the floor and scrubbed said floor with vinegar and water by hand one towel washing one towel drying but that's not what's on my mind today I am thinking about trees and birds about trees vs. forest how first there was forest and then there were trees then there were specific trees and the forest became larger and deeper and smaller and more intimate as I learned each tree then discovered the faces in trees the trees that look like dragons or dogs trees that have vaginas and teeth this is all so prosaic so I will skip the bird conversation for today

dumb blanket plus Jupiter whose birthday is tomorrow

my endoscopy and colonoscopy are now scheduled for February first both will be done at the same time and I will be completely anesthetized thank bog because my last three colonoscopies were extremely painful because I have a tortuous colon apparently my colon has corners and windowsills and knobs and candy canes and cornices instead of polite slopey slewy curves and loopages

I got a manicure yesterday and wrecked it today as I attacked my kitchen floor so it goes I don't know how to address the birds but an owl flew past my bedroom window this morning and yesterday I saw three bald eagles and two great blue heron as I walked the beach  see giant hawks everywhere I look the snow geese have returned to the island to show themselves to the tourists birds great and small and great lovely lovely

floored

I am scared to death to find out what's wrong inside of me scared shitless (literally) goodnight for now Darklings

Pax