last night I dreamed I looked out my kitchen window and saw that the potatoes had sprouted flowers that the flowers were turning brown which is a sign that the potatoes are ready for harvest I ran outside and knelt in the dirt and started digging up red and white potatoes then I dug up a small dead black bird which I placed on the deck

today is Dennis's funeral it began at 11 at the church
this morning I spoke to my son and to my son's best friend and I spoke through my son to Michael my other brother in law (married to Jim's sister Linda) who I knew before I even knew Jim who I have always adored who is now in a wheelchair and on oxygen because of damages to his body from Agent Orange in Vietnam where he served as a Green Beret

and cigarettes
and drugs

today is the worst day for me I watched the royal wedding and cried now I am crying for Dennis for my son for Michael for Jim for my brother for all of us

today is dark

I am of course baking because later tonight I will have my son and his best friend and their girlfriends but I would have been baking three headed dog no matter what I decided to make a quiche and also the orange cake but I ran over myself because I made my piecrust and put it in the freezer and realized that I only have one oven so the quiche is in everything for the cake is mise en place I washed up my mess-so-far I did not once get my apron tails in the toilet I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher

I have been listening to the talkie edition of American Gods all morning and now I am completely stopped