Sunday, June 28, 2020

Pig and farm report

this afternoon I saw two cows engaging in some rigorous bovine sexing I have been sick but I am on the mend

the american president is a war criminal

I screamed through the house this morning about the american president because I heard on the television that his aides his personal attendants his right hand men his mobsters and lackeys can’t tell him about war crimes committed on his watch because it will make him mad

I was raised by and with some world class bullies and I never backed down and the fact that the top stooges are afraid to make the king stooge mad is fucking staggering

this the end of democracy right now

the reason I haven’t posted in two weeks is not because I’ve been sick but because of the aforementioned insanity and my own

I’ve been reading my book and making smaller and smaller terrariums the last being a completely native terrarium in a pint jar with strata and moss and tiny plants from my very own woods and I’ve been watching things grow

I went to the actual store because I can no longer afford instacart because it got too personal and because I kept getting perfectly green rock hard limes without a drop of juice in them I was shocked to see not only a full aisle of toilet paper but all kinds of flour in fact the teeming shelves overloaded my senses but I had already worked out a system with my son where I ran through the store in my mask and gloves throwing stuff into my cart then I ran out of the store to the safety of my car gasping for breath as my son paid for everything with my debit card

was this a fluke all this stuff? my perfect timing?

the american president belongs in prison right now for war crimes and for colluding with dictators to kill american soldiers

I have not written here because I am wary of writing about my mental illness not only panic attacks in the store but the fact that people are shooting guns nightly loud and close for no reason other than the fact that they have guns and it’s their second amendment right to shoot them and now fireworks on top of that it really wakes up my PTSD that startle instinct is so strong I have not written here because I am tired of writing about my about my damn mental illness and I am still without a psychiatrist

I haven’t written here because my bipolar disorder hasn’t taken a breath even though the whole wolf world is on a break and last night my mentally divergent brain was cycling so rapidly I only slept for three hours

I’ve been working on a poem but my progress with it is glacial much like watching things grow yesterday I realized that my green house is simply a seashell in the world’s terrarium and benign alien beings watch over us with love and grace


Blogger Linda Sue said...

exhausting! Times like these, as if there have been times like these, make me question if there is such a thing as sanity. I do not know what it looks like except in a pretend way. I do know that sleep is the most important thing going these days- whatever it takes, sleep is the healer. I love that you are making little ecosystems in mason jars,
that is splendid!

June 28, 2020 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Sleep is the elixir. I bought some extremely small tweezers that maybe got lost in the mail for making even smaller watery worlds. I have only had one night of insomnia during all this. Lucky so far except for last night. Are you having fireworks there? It seems to be happening all around but we are slow here in the sticks.

June 28, 2020 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger Linda Sue said...

no fireworks here, the city has put a ban on them in city limits a couple of years ago because of complaints and hurt animals.

June 28, 2020 at 5:21 PM  
Blogger Ms. Moon said...

You're here. I'm so glad.

June 29, 2020 at 5:36 AM  
Blogger 6279 said...

Relieved to see you. Love your writing you your garden your moon brain.

June 29, 2020 at 6:28 AM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

I understand this perfectly. I am trying to find a way to write too but there is so much every day that makes my heart and mind explode and there are no words and too many words to touch it and to explain it and the war criminal president has stolen my voice because in my head everything I want to say sounds like a wailing roar. Still I’m so glad to see you and know you’re on the mend. Fire bombs go off in the midnight here too.

June 29, 2020 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Mary Moon here and waking up slowly as if from an enchanted dream. Hello hello my friend!

June 29, 2020 at 11:38 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dear 6279

Thank you. I am relieved to be back here in the loving arms of my last true community.


June 29, 2020 at 11:41 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dear R, emotional overload is real and persistent and hammers me down into my self. I will have a news and twitter break this week when my son returns to his father’s. Much much needed. I love you.


June 29, 2020 at 11:43 AM  
Blogger beth coyote said...

Dearest R-with the current fuckery and stress and anxiety, its a wonder we're upright. My brother's ghost follows me from room to room.

But the garden thrives, actually has become huge with plants nudging each other out of the way. Hoping they will grow so big, no one will be able to see the house.

XX Beth

June 30, 2020 at 9:42 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Beth I bet your garden is spectacular. I dreamed my sister two days ago I dreamed her as a dead infant instead of the dead toddler she actually was. My son put the painting of her in my closet we both think it might be haunted. Love to you dear poet.

July 1, 2020 at 1:40 PM  

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