Pig and farm report
I have this list of 198 nonviolent social actions we can take against the american president and his henchmen and a recipe for ricotta lemon cake on my desktop I now have a personal instacart shopper named Brian S this morning I thought I’d try to order toilet paper and my brand of peanut butter (I’ve given up looking for flour I have the bag of hard red spring wheat from my CSA to hold me for a while) and Brian S texted me that he’d begun my small list the last time Brian S was here he told me he liked me through the window this time he told me through the window that he was shopping in Arlington 40 miles away when my name came up and he caught it he is in his 50 s and drives a Subaru I’m fairly certain shopping for instacart was not his original job and he likes me because I am ashamed to shop through instacart I am ashamed to be an eccentric obese woman over 65 years old in this version of america and I am ashamed to have been a smoker for 18 years though I quit in 1989 and therefore because of this shame I am a wildly extravagant tipper
Brian S is the most social activity I’ve had in three months
I wonder what he thinks of me wandering through the house in my 20 year old Microsoft tee shirt and sad men’s pajamas from Sears my wild hair and bare feet I wonder if he’s noticed the wee stone pig and the large statue of Beethoven resting side by side near the door and the pots of strawberries on my deck I wonder if he harshly judges the number of Magnum double caramel ice cream bars I order I wonder if he’s as much of a voyeur as I am I wonder if he’s completely insane like an axe murderer or something
I wonder if I am completely insane
I found this six foot tall foxglove growing outside and this bear scat when I went out to fight the fake blackberries under my deck I absolutely adore foxglove the Dr. Seuss bend in their stalks and one never knows when one might need some digitalis in a hurry
Bears!
answering the question once and for all about where a bear shits
you’re welcome
Brian S is the most social activity I’ve had in three months
I wonder what he thinks of me wandering through the house in my 20 year old Microsoft tee shirt and sad men’s pajamas from Sears my wild hair and bare feet I wonder if he’s noticed the wee stone pig and the large statue of Beethoven resting side by side near the door and the pots of strawberries on my deck I wonder if he harshly judges the number of Magnum double caramel ice cream bars I order I wonder if he’s as much of a voyeur as I am I wonder if he’s completely insane like an axe murderer or something
I wonder if I am completely insane
I found this six foot tall foxglove growing outside and this bear scat when I went out to fight the fake blackberries under my deck I absolutely adore foxglove the Dr. Seuss bend in their stalks and one never knows when one might need some digitalis in a hurry
answering the question once and for all about where a bear shits
you’re welcome
posted by Radish King at 7:40 PM
6 Comments:
Does the bear live in the Vatican though? And does the Pope shit in the woods?
These are the questions I like to contemplate.
Your foxglove is a Blue Ribbon winner at the fair.
I feel certain that Brian S. has a huge crush on you. Did you get your brand of peanut butter?
Mary not only did I get my brand of peanut butter I got a HUGE jar of it *and* two packs of toilet paper. There’s a run on toilet paper again here. Old white people fearing protesters are going to barge into their houses I guess.
I quite smoking in 1989 too, but not cigarettes. Brian S sounds like fodder for a short story.
then again, a person should never be thought to be fodder (this is my mother's voice in my head)
Dear R, you are so brave to give up a habit with teeth. I understand this in my deepest heart and I love you for it.
ps. We are writers. Everything is fodder. And everyone.
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