Pig and farm report

Pictures and adverts of people without heads make me uneasy they are usually click bait so I never click to see if the heads appear

William “pig bacon” Barr does not believe that there is systemic racism in America’s police force

Gladioluses look like hilarious spears and clematises look like Mickey Mouse flowers I am unsure of the plural form of either of these flowers

I have to mute the television when Gym Jordan speaks because he is so screamy and irritating and wrong and his lack of a suit jacket at all times proves to me that he has no respect for america whatsoever

Tomorrow is my 67th birthday if anyone ever says I’m “67 years young” I’m going to sock them in the neck

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was 78 years old when she died she fought like a wild thing full of anger denial and general piss-offedness I love her for tossing her own goddamn five stages of grief out the window at the end

I keep thinking about the blue land crabs that marched through a Miami suburb in early June I believe they were harbingers of a strange and eerie art perhaps a reversal of doom we should have paid attention

William “pig bacon” Barr twirls his pen adjusts his glasses smooths his hair and attempts to talk over anyone but especially women right now he is leaning his head on his hand giving himself a hitler mustache with his middle finger he has a lot of tells William “pig bacon” Barr can also be called William “pig bacon” Tell

Earlier this week I gave myself a tragic haircut and now I can’t tuck it behind my ears hippos get deep cuts and scratches and ticks and bites on their skin which they can’t reach (obviously) so they enlist barbell fish to nibble them to clean and sooth them after which the hippos go into a deep happy trance this is how I feel at my hair stylist

I saw a harmonium on the side of the road just hanging out among the trees it was a perfectly good harmonium and it was on the road for two weeks I wonder where it was going and why

White men have weaponized their cars against children’s soft bodies why aren’t these republican politicians on television outraged and why is it more important to them to protect buildings instead of the soft bodies of Black men and women and children

When I was seven years old I learned how to do yoga from a book about the practice written by Jascha Heifetz and Gloria Swanson once I learned how to stand on my head once I found my center of gravity I was unstoppable and I have been unstoppable ever since no one has knocked me down though they have tried

I believe that human unmasked faces will become ero genous

Do you remember May 30 when we watched a dragon launched into space

I am going to become a secret lip-synch assassin when I grow up but first I am going to learn how to build a carrot cake

My lion-headed son just drove up in his giant truck

That’s it for now