I went out

I went shopping big shopping at the grown up grocery store in town the real grocery store and I didn’t have a panic attack until I was standing in line but I paid and threw everything in my cart by myself because the kid who was bagging groceries was too young and and new and slow and I did not want to pass out on him or worse though there isn’t much worse that’s happened to me in public except for crying and maybe that time when we were on strike at the big airplane factory for three months and a church lady invited my son and me to dinner because we were as usual so poor me being a single mother to a young son who was in a private school that didn’t care that I was on strike etcetera and I wore a long black sweater to the church lady’s house and didn’t realize until I was carrying her leftover lasagna to my car that a pair of my underpants were stuck to the back of that long black sweater throughout the entire long sad meal

I did make it to my car this morning before I had what felt like a heart attack and what has felt like a heart attack ever since

tomorrow I get to go out again to yet another doctor a dermatologist this time so yay because there is nothing more fun than having a stranger inspect every inch of your body with a magnifying glass then prescribe you drugs that you really really cannot afford because you have a skin problem that is only for rich people who can don’t mind paying $3,000.00 per every 27 pills and that is not an exaggeration after my appointment though I have promised myself a trip to Gyro Stop now I have three doctors and if I ever make it to the dentist I’ll have four then one more if I can ever afford to get my eyebulbs looked at and the fun never stops when you’re old and crazy with bad skin and weak eyes and rotten teeth

in other news there is a new palomino across the road from where Speck and his mean pony Mr. Poops live and a coyote loped across my deck chasing a rabbit the other morning shaking my entire house and I saw a huge raccoon amble up my path last night so all is well on the island and all is well with me even though and even though it’s Sunday