Saturday, June 23, 2018

Dear Elizabeth,

I'm so glad you get to rest under the mountain! It has been spectacular here weather wise though it's ten degrees cooler here on the island than it is in the city. Still my arms and legs are already tanned and I  am a pasty pasty girl.

Dear Joanne,

Happy Summer my friend. It's almost July which means my birthday month is almost here and of course the entire month is mine. I am a summer person through and through. And a Leo. Last night I kissed all three of the kittens and whispered your name in their ears so they know you now. They are Leos too naturally. This morning Prince Hal discovered that he can jump as high as the kitchen counter where he ate Jupiter's one allotted teaspoon of wet food. She retaliated by running in here and eating several gobbles of Prince Hal's dry kitty food. Hal has huge long back feet. He's going to be tall and lanky. Wolf's face is soft and white and in certain light she looks like one of the gray aliens with her huge glowing eyes. She will be the one to probe us


Friday, June 22, 2018

WhoTF Lives Like This?

Go listen to the amazing new podcast by Elizabeth Aquino and Jason Lehmbeck I just listened through and I'm stunned.
Dear Elizabeth,

Oh god I’m so sorry to hear about your pup awful and added grief to the grief we are forced to live with daily. Thank you for writing what you did about this mss or mess. It took me a long time to figure out how I wanted to present it in full but once I started working with Shanna Compton and Elisabeth Workman in the Slack platform getting encouragement from them hearing yes! I want to read more! from them it finally coalesced. And I haven’t even shown them the poems yet the part of the mess I feel secure about. I have set September as a deadline for myself which is completely doable since everything is already written. I just have to puzzle it together. I think of you every day every day and read your blog constantly. I will figure out this blog fuckery soon but right now I’m too deep into QW to be able to concentrate on it.

Love to you all I’ll wave at Whidbey for you from my beach today

Thursday, June 21, 2018

It is a miracle to me the way Jupiter has taken these feral beasties under her elegant care she baths them and plays with them and watches when they are being goofy with their wee needle claws. I have been barreling in with two women writers I trust and admire so finally there are other eyebulbs on my mss not all of it but the parts I need to flesh out heaven

Hope you are well
Rosemarie, you darling one, were the one who sparked me into valuing my research enough to include it in this manuscript also meeting you was such a gift your support and strength and realness.

ps. I gave you two of my allotted ten commas in my lifetime.

I’m making Rice Crispy Treats for LUNCH and they won’t have time to cool in the pan also doubling the recipe

stress eating for two
maybe three
I just had third breakfast
I can’t wait for elevenses 
Mary, absolutely he was I asked him! her name is Crystal
you have inspired me to sew again starting with embroidery I have been so busy with everything but I envy your fabrics and the beautiful dresses you create

and the sock monkeys!

I have wanted a sock monkeys my life entire

love (and solid hugs)



good morning from the blacktail forest Darklings it is Solstice and the world is in crisis I have such a strong feeling that something is going to break soon break wide open that change is roiling down the pike at a rapid speed good change positive change I have been working on my hybrid manuscript hard down lately I have divided Queer Wing-ed into three parts the first part is my research and notes about how I entered this how I managed about losing my job and working through that the second second section is letters I wrote to Henry Darger for the past nine years I never posted them here they were a way for me to attempt seeing all sides a 360 view and the last section are the poems I have been in the garden I have been outside I have been reading I have been relaxing on the deck just thinking about my work I have to take a psychic time out today reading perhaps embroidering quiet inside and out it is cloudy for the first time in weeks it seems the kittens are already growing so fast but kittens still Jupiter is the best mother cat I've ever seen may your soul and your heart find peace today here is a picture of my beloved son I think you'll be able to spot him


Thursday, June 14, 2018

Dear Darklings,

I am going to take back bloggity in my own way which means I am going to answer your comments right here an inverse advice column if you will which means no advice at all I am tired of all the blogfuckery here are some deer for you to look at while I get coffee good morning ha the only things that M$ taught me were that there is always a workaround and credit cards can fuck you up for years

happy summer!

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

fuckitall but I still cannot post on any blogs not even my own not on my mac or my pc dammit all to fucking hell I tried all three posting options including the dreaded anon but no joy I'm going to have to go in and figure out why new booger wants me to fail good morning and hello from the forest where it's been summer for days the beans and peas are amazing the strawberries are full tiny and incredibly sweet and cats run over me if I stand still for more than a minute going to town love


Saturday, June 9, 2018

it is amazing to watch Jupiter with the kittens
she lolls about the outer outer room with me and when the kittens wake up she walks up to them sniffs their behinds so she knows who is who then puts her giant front leg around their necks and starts bathing them oh god

I have not been able to take a photo of it if I move the kits startle but oh god seriously it is adorable

I wrote for an hour this morning but not on Queer Wing-ed I'm still going to reward myself by binge-watching Patrick Melrose here in an hour I am almost finished reading the fourth novel it by far surpasses the first three the growth in Edward St Aubyn's writing by Mother's Milk is remarkable I didn't recognize it the first time I read the novels probably because I was still learning (am still learning will always be learning) to be a writer

I have one half flat of strawberries left


Pig and farm report

I'm not able to post comments to my blog or to anyone elses' blogs not even on my mac as of today this is frustrating as hell as I can't pinpoint the culprit though I suspect it's Krapersky which I just updated on both my computers which is expensive I'm not even sure I can post here at this moment I hope so we had a delicious storm this morning and now it is sunny and raining both the owls sang along the forest for hours  and one swooped right by my window the second I've seen up close this week I stayed in bed reading and playing with all three of the kittens yesterday I worked on Queer Wing-ed (editing) for an hour and then thought I had lost thirty poems because I couldn't find them on the private blog where I posted them but it turns out I stopped posting there in 2015 today I will go in with the hard copy poems and order them that way it makes me nostalgic for the long ago days when I had a beloved typewriter that never required any more attention than changing the ribbon and an electrical outlet and before that just the ribbon but not really

yesterday I went to the farmers market and bought myself some peonies because I refuse to pick my own the peonies are pink and white and fragrant I also bought a flat and a half of strawberries some spring onions and a small piece of fresh farmer's cheese from a farm in Mount Vernon today I am going to write for an hour and later I will make strawberry jam

I wish I could tell you how it is inside here where the sun and rain make the air velvet where the softest imaginable kitty curls into a fist on my chest and calms my breathing where Jupiter rules the moon and teaches her babies how to hunt and cover their food bowls with whatever is handy where my son is freshly in love so much so that he can't think of anything else I wish I could describe my happy and my well being

I am sending out waves of good fortune and love to you Darklings I hope you hear me though electricity wages its tiny stinging war against my finger and Beethoven speckles the light

Friday, June 8, 2018

I can't tell if it's blogger or windows or my pc or kaspersky that makes it now impossible to post comments to my own gd blog I can do it fine on my mac which also has kaspersky freshly renewed and I would have gone elsewhere if there were elsewhere to go the fact that I can post on my mac makes me suspect windows and I am so sick of it and I refuse to install windows on my mac a machine that runs without hiccups but grrr grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Mary Moon writes eloquently and beautifully about Anthony Bourdain here

Pig and farm report

Dear Darklings it feels like I have been gone forever but I am deep in the pudding editing again Queer Wing-ed this time with the help of Prolifiko which is a great program and is free for the time being in beta superb especially if you have a big writing project going it works on a system of setting goals then breaking the goals into smaller steps then rewarding yourself for completing the steps (this is exactly how I teach violin lessons to children and why I never figured it out for myself is beyond me) and with that program and my small writing group yesterday I reached the halfway point I am not editing the poems themselves but cleaning up superscript circles and right angle arrows and making sure all my lines end in pilcrows weird stuff that if left can make editors hate me or so I imagine I have the original folder of poems which was once chronological which is how I intended the mss to read but when I updated my computer to Windows 10 the poems showed up in Word in alphabetical order GAHHHHHHHHH! so I am beginning a new manuscript and using my Queer Wing-ed blog to catch the proper order Prolifiko helps to manage all this and the founders are supportive and make me feel like I'm an actual person not just a number once they go public I will certainly sign on but enough about all that I have had to turn the sound off all my devices to get through this editing process as I am Pavlov's salivating dog when it comes to beeps and whistles except I'm listening to podcasts and books on cd as I go because it's all right brain stuff my small writing group are my cheerleaders it has been so long since I've had a writing community I am smitten

in other news the kittens are no longer feral they are in the world (house) at large now and have had their second round of vaccinations I spend a lot of time tumbling around with them and Jupiter is being a superb mother cat to them I knew she would be she now sings her rare song to find them in the morning and she gives them baths and is teaching them to hunt most recently moths outside through the window

this morning I woke to the news about Anthony Bourdain and I knew I had to shut away from Twitter today there is a storm coming up I can feel and hear it though the weather report just calls for wind nevertheless trout I have opened my windows to let the storm praise come in I have lit a candle for Anthony I have made a pot of coffee and it is time to go back into it

I no longer receive emails when one of you comments nor can I enter my blog through the home page blogger is aware of the email problem but I don't know about the other every system I work in has tightened its security measures on account of the massive FB FU that's it for now Darklings I will be back to our regularly scheduled program as soon as I finish this edit of my book onward and upward

Love and kittens

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Monday, June 4, 2018

The Whale's Tale Newport Oregon 1976

heading out to get my Sufi heart tattoo re-inked when I return I will tell you how much I love you