ps.
ever since I moved here the hallway closet doorknob has not properly latched shut but I never worried about it because none of the brooms or other cleaning devices ever escaped the other night my son showed me how he had cleverly wrapped three rubber bands around the outside doorknob to the inside doorknob thus creating a bit of hold I saw what he had done and told him in my outside voice to remove them because I won’t have this house smarmed up with duct tape which is how I pretty much held everything together in the old house from cracked windows to our beds to the freezer door that nightmare place was a duct tape hovel and once I bought this house I swore there would never be one piece of duct tape or any other quick fix solution anywhere here ever ever my son of course walked away from my frothing this morning I awoke to find the rubber bands missing I immediately panicked and began walking around inspecting the beauty carpet for them because of the cats and trust me once you have pulled a rubber band out of a cat’s butt you never want to do it again ever ever not a one to be found I panicked
I grew cold with fear
later my son showed up and told me he removed the offending rubber bands after I went to bed
which is why I successfully bought a hallway doorknob the other day
I grew cold with fear
later my son showed up and told me he removed the offending rubber bands after I went to bed
which is why I successfully bought a hallway doorknob the other day
THE END.
posted by Radish King at 4:18 PM
8 Comments:
When I was contemplating buying a new refrigerator because my bins were all cracked and so was the interior lining a young man who was visiting suggested the duct tape solutions and I just said, "Um, no. I'm done with that." It's amazing, isn't it?
I'm glad your cats did not eat the rubber bands. And no, I have never pulled a rubber band from a cat's butt and I hope I never have to.
Mary once with one of the slumlord’s shit used refrigerators I had to tape the entire freezer door around and around to make it stay closed I wrote about it on my rk blog and my then friend Susan demanded to see it maybe to see if I was telling the truth. She came over I opened the fridge door and the freezer door flew out and hit the top of my head and Susan laughed and laughed. I was deeply humiliated. Poverty is not funny. I’m so glad that old bitch died and left me her money. I spit on her grave. And Susan of course is no longer my friend.
Bah.
Love you
You have certainly paid all dues and can now create your castle any way you choose with joy and abandon. Gremlins like Susan should be banished from earth and sent to a prison planet where they have to pull rubber bands from cat butts all day long.
Thank you Penelope. I wa so upset with Susan when she stopped being my friend that I saw a therapist to see what I had done wrong. What with my bipolar swings and agoraphobia and panic attacks it is hard for me to make and keep friends so it was devastating. It doesn’t matter now. May Susan forever find rubber bands stuck in her own butt and have to laugh and laugh as she pulls them out and have them snap back in as rubber bands will. What a fine curse!
Rebecca
I share many of your life challenges and understand more than many so called normal people are capable of comprehending. Just reaching out to you on your honest blog was a giant leap of courage for me. So many false friends mistake kindness for weakness. It is anything but.
We have both faced horrors that would wipe out the Susan's of the world.
(((Penelope)))
I am so grateful you reached out.
Rebecca
I once pulled the tape from a cassette from a cat's butt, and let's just say--that went on FOREVER. Didn't play music, though. Also, it has taken me a long time to believe that it won't bankrupt me anymore to not just take the cheapest, duct-tape-and-papercli-diy-and-hope-i-don't-electrocute-myself method of home repair/life repair/etc.
Dear RQSQV, seriously omfg cassette tape h no oh no I can feel it now oh my you got me a case of the mad giggles.
Love
Rebecca
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