Sunday, January 5, 2020

What happened

The end.

I need to work through this backward please hold your questions until the end

I fell into bed reeking of dung and piss and dirt animal and human adult and child
My son backed his truck up to the house so I could walk quickly in avoiding steps
I rode home in white faced silence willing my spirit not to slip out of my body again trying to convince my son that I was not dying I just have low blood pressure while Wolfie rode in the backseat
I realized I had become urban legend every person and animal in that office stared at me as I clicked the truck’s seat back and sank out of view
I finally got up and made a slow wobble to my son’s truck knowing I could never return
She called urgent care while I insisted that I was fine that I just had to stay there for a minute that I faint all the time haha but I have never not since the third grade not in daylight
The vet knelt beside me and looked at my eyeballs with a light just as she had done Wolfie’s and pronounced them constricted I wanted to say of course they’re constricted I just fainted haha
I knew I had to lie on the flat floor before I hit it hard so I did
The low bench swam against my face my son’s knee was hard against my back so I wouldn’t fall off the bench onto the floor
I sat down hard on the low bench because the known world was slipping out of focus
I handed my son my credit card
I saw the electric fireplace flick on and took my coat off because it was extremely warm
The vet said Wolfie is fine and would prescribe medicine for her eye which was inflamed but not scratched or infected
I locked my knees while holding Wolfie on the examine table so she wouldn’t bolt while the vet checked her vitals
We waited for 45 minutes to see the vet the woman sitting across from us had a giant dog and the woman would not stop talking at us
It was warm at the veterinarian office very warm I hadn’t eaten since breakfast
Getting Wolfie into her crate was extremely difficult we ended up having to shut all the doors scare her out of one room and trap her in another a broom handle was used plus heavy coats gloves a window screen and speed


Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Have you eaten yet?
Oh, honey. Please be careful.

January 5, 2020 at 2:52 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Yes too much. Page is force feeding me like one of those sad sorry geese. XO

January 5, 2020 at 2:56 PM  
Blogger Ramona Quimby said...

Oh god. I'm sorry--I fainted in the middle of the Mall of America once, starfished right in front of the Apple store and right outside of the aquarium (that place is a goddamned hell on earth) and my thought was, as I was going down, 'well, i guess everyone who came out to hell today will have something to talk about.' Glad you're okay.

January 5, 2020 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dear R I have to say your fall was more epic! I got petted and fed stale gingersnaps which I secretly believe were doggy treats. XO

January 5, 2020 at 5:17 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

Darling Rebecca, I have been away and I'm catching up here now. I am sorry you had that swimmy head that sick spreading dark fainting, but so glad your son, with his attentive eyes and steady knee, was there for you. I hope you are feeling much better now, and I also want to say how you wrote this is awesome. I was there in that suffocatingly hot waiting room. I heard the clicking of the truck seat as you rolled it back. I followed the thread, and the payoff was everything. But of course all this is secondary to you being well again. I hope you are, my love.

January 6, 2020 at 6:05 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Welcome home dear R! Thank you for reading all the way through this weirdo post the only rule I’ve set for myself here is to tell the truth no matter what. Not as easy at one might think. Love you

January 6, 2020 at 8:00 AM  
Anonymous Jeannine Hall Gailey said...

Ugh! Fainting is the worst. It happens with my MS sometimes, and I do not like it. But just think - now we're like the glamorous gals of Victorian novels and we must have some fainting couches immediately! Love.

January 6, 2020 at 6:55 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

J9 it is always terrifying but much easier alone in my bed or bathroom still never easy that feeling of disconnecting from your body is truly awful. Yes for fainting couches and smelling salts and delicate womens etc.

January 7, 2020 at 8:51 AM  

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