Sunday, November 27, 2016

today I pretty much stayed in bed and cried this moving is getting to me mostly I'm crying privately saying I DON'T WANT TO BE A GROWN UP hoping someone will come and rescue me but no one will and actually the hard part is done I'm mostly packed our beds will be arriving on December 4th

I am resistant to change
I am resistant to change
I am resistant to change

last night I woke up sick in the blue hour the milk hour and made my way dizzy covered in sweat again with terrible cramps where I passed out again on the toilet then I managed to ease myself to the floor so I wouldn't fall and hoping my son or anyone would rescue me and by then I was shivering naked lying on a towel on the floor

today a person I've known for a long time posted a photo he took of an elderly large breasted African American woman walking down the street in NYC on FaceBook and he was mocking her and his friends all joined in mocking her and I read him straight down he wrote WHAT IS THIS??? and I told him it was an elderly woman minding her own goddamned business and why did she deserve his invasion of her privacy his mocking of her body I told him he was sad then I blocked him from FB and Twitter then he had the balls to text me a nasty message about how everyone in POETRYLAND hates me which yeah maybe some do I tend to speak my mind but this is the kind of behavior that counts as GOODBYE FOREVER as far as I'm concerned I am an elderly woman with large breasts and I have spent my entire life with assholes commenting on them men and women both and it is so invasive and horrible

constant rain the love of a gigantic cat boxes and boxes and boxes of books and kitchen stuff I cleaned out the little bedside table I made three years ago and packed it away

winter is not my favorite season and I have too much to do to collapse

4 days

Hello Darklings hello


Blogger Judy Wise said...

Sending love.

November 28, 2016 at 6:00 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Sending love right back dear Artist.

November 28, 2016 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger carolyn said...

Moving is the hardest thing ever, but think of the rewards. A new home, all the trees. water nearby, coffee on the deck, freedom from slum lords. In a few weeks you'll be all settled. You can do it, you always

November 28, 2016 at 6:53 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

oh Carolyn, bless you you made me tear up in the best kind of release way. Today I felt crazy because I was on the phone with 80 billion people changing addresses mostly. The phone slays me but I persevered. Almost felt like a grown-up there.

November 28, 2016 at 6:59 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I am so behind, and I can hardly believe that this move is imminent. I wish I were there to help you. It's going to be wonderful. I just know it. But damn, moving is one of the biggest pains in the asses of all life activities.

November 29, 2016 at 11:10 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Elizabeth you are here with me every day more than I can ever explain. You are my hero you are what I aspire to. Love.

December 8, 2016 at 7:34 AM  

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