Thursday, January 5, 2017

the gigantic lasagna is in the oven which I have named Lula and the leftover marinara is stored safely away in the black refridgerator which I have named Sailor for obvious reasons and my holly berry nightgown is in the washing machine on account of I got marinara all the way up my g.d. sleeve and I tell you what cooking and baking binges are WAY EASIER WITH A DISHWASHER which I have named Scout

unfortunately I had to put pants on once I threw my nightgown and a couple red spattered dishtowels in the wash also might I add that it is remarkable to do a large load of pots and pans and flatware and knives in the dishwasher and a small load of red spattered (marinara now not blood don't panic) dishtowels in an actual washing machine that I didn't have to drive to at the same time and not have to worry about the house caving in or blowing a glass fuse (yes that old bitchhouse had glass fuses and he never swapped them out even though one of his rentals burned down around the same time and that old bitch hot water heater had bare wires sticking out all over the place and do you remember when the old old hot water heater broke and we were left for two weeks without hot water and when Drunk Dave finally replaced the old old water heater and left us the old newish water heater the one with bare wires sticking out all over the place he put the old old water heater in our driveway and left it there for a month!!! and I called Slumlord and he didn't care it just sat there with water sloshing around inside its bottom ugh and I know Slumlord eventually put it in some other poor person's house that's how he operates)

not a word from Slumlord

I was going to mail his keys to him but I lost his address or rather I have yet to unpack it

too bad
fuck him

*

I think the clock in my Statue of Liberty clock's belly needs a battery according to her it's been 9:30 for over a week now

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope there is a special kind of hell for slumlords. Fuck all of them. Glad Tom came to your rescue.
Xoxo
Barbara

January 5, 2017 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

He always does. He never judges me because he's even more messed up than I.
Love
Rebecca

January 5, 2017 at 6:15 PM  
Blogger liv said...

I had the same glass fuses and the same water heater problem, only the new one they put in they didn't do it right and I almost died of gas poisoning. This is my first dishwasher too. When we got here I didn't know how to turn it on or how much soap to put in, it scared me. Fuck bad landlords. You know, there is a landlord hell...
I hope the lasagna was delicious.

January 5, 2017 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

Lula. Sailor. Scout. Great names!

January 5, 2017 at 10:07 PM  

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