Wednesday, February 22, 2017

yesterday I stopped at the little Mexican restaurant in the wee strip mall that has the freshest and most delicious Mexican food I've ever tasted Dos Reales Taqueria in the small town that is the largest town across the bridge from my island and I filled up on chips and their amazing salsa and took the rest to go then I went to the do-it-yourself car wash and washed 15 pounds of pine needles off Sweet Lime and to exercise off the hot salty made right when I arrived chips (so good) then I drove to the large grocery store and bought yeast then I came back to the island and went to the new nail salon that just opened next to the IGA slash Ace Hardware slash Thai nook restaurant slash Nail Salon (that's its name) and I got a much needed manicure and I was the only one in the salon with three young women working and they were playing a tape or a radio station of love songs and The Rose came on from that awful Janis Joplin biopic of the same name and I started singing then the woman doing my nails started singing then the woman next to me started singing then we were all just belting it out then the boss lady said DO WE NEED A KARAOKE MACHINE IN HERE? in her outside voice so we all shut up but it was a divine moment and reminded of how we would sometimes sing at My Ex Glamorous Job spontaneous fun singing and the woman doing my nails didn't say a peep at how awful my hands and nails and cuticles looked ratty and torn and broken from moving in 18 degree weather

and not once during all this activity did my panic subside not once but my nails are the palest pink ever and now they're all short (I had only been clipping the nails on my left hand so I could practice my violin because my nails have turned hard have turned truly into goat nails or perhaps entire goats)

panic all the way then all the way home then through the night and this morning my keeper son showed up and we had words because often so much of my stress is from his careful watch over me which at times feels oppressive

I know it isn't good to speak this way of my son who I adore but there it is

this morning we went to the state park and drove around then he took me to the store so I could buy another 9 inch cake pan because I am in the mood to bake the panic still roiling in my belly and when I came out of the store the sky was dark charcoal gray to black  it's supposed to snow tonight

still panic still roiling belly and I can smell star lilies good afternoon Darklings


10 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Ugh, ugh, ugh, it's the worst and even when you're doing something wonderful and FUN FUN FUN it's there in your belly and I hate it for you and I hate it for all of us who know what it's like.
I commend you to the highest order for going out even though. I know it's hard. Sometimes impossible.
But you did that.
What kind of a cake?

February 22, 2017 at 12:51 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

I'm making Mary Moon's 1234 Cake of course. It's such a delicious recipe. On my top three for cakes.
Love
Rebecca
🎂

February 22, 2017 at 1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh that singing together is a divine moment. I remember every single time it's happened to me, some kind of cosmic connection happens and it's pure happiness.
Xoxo
Barbara

February 22, 2017 at 2:26 PM  
Blogger liv said...

That was like watching it on a film. You don't know you're smiling all the way through, but then it's over and you know you are. I had fun!

February 22, 2017 at 7:17 PM  
Blogger margaret roncone said...

they will always be~the tiny pricklies up and down my limbs and torso when I read your posts.

February 22, 2017 at 8:43 PM  
Blogger Elle Clancy said...

I too love your entries...I feel as if I'm sitting there with you. Always glad to see when you post; I know writing makes me feel better.

February 23, 2017 at 7:29 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Margaret my Island Sister I am so thankful that you are still here!Even after knowing me in the meat world. Did you see those weird black clouds the other day? Perhaps you will come to my house warming party this spring?
Love

February 24, 2017 at 8:48 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Liv, you're right I was smiling all the way through! xo

February 24, 2017 at 8:49 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Barbara it is a rare and brave and lovely thing for women to raise their voices to the sky. Perhaps the best thing I learned from my extreme early religious education.
Thank you for filling my house with Alices!
Love from the outer reaches.

February 24, 2017 at 8:52 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Elle hello hello! Thank you for reading here and reminding me that I'm not rolling around alone like a marble in this flat blue world.
XO

February 24, 2017 at 8:54 AM  

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