In the black tail forest with Jupiter ascending

I had one night a few nights ago where I thought I could not sleep because electricity was jaggering through my brain on fire with images that passed through like lucid dreams but more real and when I woke I felt that I was never asleep though I was not tired

the next morning my son called and told me that he dreamed that I had died that I coughed and when he came into my room I was dead just.like.that.

thankfully I did not die

I have not been leaving the house because I am unsure if the mania has passed and if I leave the house with my little debit card I might get myself into trouble when my son is home I give the card to him during times of mania I have everything I need toilet paper fruit my own biscuits though I could use some spaghetti noodles since I've been making marinara all day today cooking it down adding stock cooking it further down adding stock making it rich and delicious I had a tiny bowl of just marinara for lunch yum

I go to the beach every day this morning I went to County Ark (the P fell off all the Park signs there) and this is how it looked rainy and cold or I was cold in my peachy striped shorts and pink sweater and bedroom slippers which is how I am dressing now that I have retired my Christmas nightie for the summer

yesterday I unpacked the LAST BOX which in fact was the last box I packed when I left the old house it was a hurried packing tossing of all my old dishes and silverware and three kitchen junk drawers I whittled it down to two tiny Rubbermaid boxes with lids that will go into the library now I am officially unpacked finally in five days I will have been here six months the time has swept by so fast I think because there is no worry and stress with which to measure my days it hasn't stopped raining this week so I pull easy weeds out of my garden fling slugs with joyful abandon play with Jupiter here she is after leaving the kitchen sink after putting her actual mouth on the faucet (clearly I am still not over this weirdness) and I'm pretty sure once I post this no one will ever want to come to dinner though I wash my counters religiously

the deer are plentiful in my forest here everyday now and they love to pose for photos

the bunnies too delight in my tender pink roses

and this very fat bird who bathes with gusto knocking the smaller birds right out of the bath under the watchful eyes of St. Frankie

once again I have posted too many photos but it's still hard to think and my insides are vibrating in a strange way but I have not been stomach sick in a week and I believe I've gained maybe six pounds or so I'm afraid to look at the scales but so what so what so what I can still wear my mango swim suit and swim in the lake

that's it from Summer's End where the poppies are springing up and the radishes have been ravished by bunnies and I have baby tomatoes and Marylinn Magnolia has sprung from one branch to fifteen in a spectacular display of joy and Figgy Pudding is still one thin stalk with insanely huge leaves unfolding in its top

this week I binge-watched Orange is the New Black around the middle I decided it was crap but it pulled itself together with some memorable performances and a solid story line at the end and made me weep today I am binge watching American Gods they are playing the entire season on Starz or whatever station that is such beautiful story telling with the same cinematographer who filmed Hannibal such dreamy beauty

I have to go stir the kettle of sauce the day pines away I miss the father I wished I had had

Love