28/30
Finish it.
~ Don Draper
~ Don Draper
Put one finger
down put the next finger down then begin again put one finger down put the next
finger down this is how to be a writer in case you forget in case your mother molests
you in your bed every night in case you do not learn to speak for twenty &
seven years because you are slammed into yourself put one finger down put
the next finger down then begin again this is how you fly when your mother
throws your violin your books your records one pair of patched jeans & you
into the yard into the street into the wolf world before you have even begun to
bleed put one finger down put the next finger down then begin again in case your
great left toe freezes & gets gangrene & falls off inside your boot while
you are a homeless teenage girl in a brutal Spokane winter in case you live
outside or in a boarded up building or under the bridge & all you think about is pain day after day in case
you get caught stealing cheese from a bin in the grocery store & police
chase you in the parking lot & pin your girl body to the curb put one
finger down put the next finger down then begin again in case you are thirteen
years old with a limp & dirty hair & you go to a motel with a strange
man to have a shower in exchange for sex put one finger down then put the next
finger down record every word hold that man in your chest & all the other
men & all the other showers & all the other knives in your warm body your
soft folds forever put one finger down put the next finger down & begin
again in case an eight year old boy who is squatting in a house with you takes
LSD & screams & can’t stop screaming because he thinks he is going to die
in the toilet & you don’t know what to do because you are a child & squatting
in a house put one finger down put the next finger down play the keyboard like
a stupid drum in case you marry at seventeen to escape the streets
put one finger down put the next finger down then begin again in case you hear
fire engines up the street on a Sunday morning in case you’re getting divorced
again & moving to another house a haunted duplex that holds fleshy true
injured children in case you have to move in the middle of the night with your
infant son & your ex-husband lets your feral cat shoot out the door a cat named
Fledge tiny & gray with stripes while you move books & records even
after you warn him to be careful put one finger down put the next finger down in
case you go to the old house at three in the morning every day for months
calling Fledge sobbing her name even though the loss of Fledge is much worse
than the loss of your husband put one finger down put the next finger down
record it in case you need to make order of the senseless wolf world in case
your brother has a child he never gets to see in case the boy was born in a
dank ugly town then whisked away from your brother or you were whisked away so
you never knew each other put one finger down put the next finger down in case
your father moved to different state to start a brand new family with three
brand new daughters but tells you he’s sorry he’s sorry he left you with her
one month before his heart explodes & you lose him forever put one finger
down put the next finger down if you want to be a writer in case you were raped
in front of your own goddamned house in a familiar car put one finger down put
the next finger down this is how you do it this is how to write open your mouth
outside on a wintry day & see if birds don’t fly out see if they don’t fly
right out riding your plumed breath cover your ears & open your mouth to
hear birds whisper to one another this is how to do it one finger at a time moving
over the waves that’s right now get up & scream your fool head off one
finger one letter one word at a time.
4 Comments:
This slays me.
Thank you dear R. I think I squeezed all the poems into this poem and thank goodness the month is over because I am tapped out. Love.
I feel silenced in the best of ways. Privileged. Here. Witnessing word and truth and power.
Thank you Elizabeth thank you. It is strange that I could not face this exercise of writing without just digging in at a cellular level. That I had to move my physical body into it that my sense of poetic theory held no ground here. Thank you for witnessing. Love
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