Pig and farm report

this is a placeholder in case I lose my place

yesterday I woke up with a cotton stuffed head signaling depression it lasted all day then I went outside during a big rain storm the first of the season and dug up the rest of my potatoes

this morning when I woke the depression was gone and my left shoulder blade ached up and down its meridian

then I ate two breakfasts which were only one breakfast but I'm not much of a breakfast eater unless it's for dinner

now I'm preparing to bake an olive oil and orange cake

this might seem simple but the truth is that I'm rapid cycling which is the joy of depression and mania hitting me at the same time

the truth is that I'm writing it here so I remember so I can track so I know how long it lasts so next time I can remind myself

the truth is that it's awful and terrifying not one thing not the other a roller coaster ride fuckery

I will take the dreaded zombie Seroquel tonight then sleep the sleep of the living dead and hopefully knock it out of myself in a day or two

the truth is typing this made me cry

see? see? proof

I'll see you on the other side

crazytown

xo