Pig and farm report
Day 2
the Seroquel Death Pill did not work last night it still took me hours to get to sleep and I woke up and immediately drank 12 cups of coffee then mopped my kitchen floor then changed my sheets again then did two loads of laundry then danced but my dancing felt haunted not joyful and last night I drove to the store where I spent an insane $80 on absolutely nothing then almost hit a car as I attempted to drive out of the parking lot
my son has been driving me almost everywhere but he doesn't understand why even though I've tried to tell him and he won't be here until tomorrow
later yesterday afternoon I got a jury summons from Island County in the mail which means I'd have to drive an hour get on a ferry pay for said ferry then drive to the courthouse on Whidbey Island get there by 8 AM wait for 8 hours then drive home in the dark and that sent me spinning then I called my son and whined about it then I fretted
I ended up calling DOGNURSE to tell her I needed a note excusing me from jury duty because I can't drive myself I never know if I will be up or down or inside out and the thought of it terrifies me and now I'll have to speak to her on the telephone which is ugh then she'll want to see me for herself to judge my crazy and probably try to get me on her scales again ugh ugh ugh I also confessed my mixed features episode to her because they are rare and shrinks get really excited when they see it much like physicians seeing conjoined twins
my house is really clean though the floor sparkles the counters are crumb free the sheets are cotton clean and I am running in circles inside myself
Seroquel is an anti-psychotic
anti-psychotic
anti-psychotic
anti-psychotic
that's going to look so grand on my resume haha
according to WebMd if you're interested
so
back on the Zombie Seroquel anti-psychotic tonight thinking I might have to take one sooner maybe even two a day for a while in the past it has knocked me out with one dose this round is a bugger
dear Darklings
I am so glad you are here
the Seroquel Death Pill did not work last night it still took me hours to get to sleep and I woke up and immediately drank 12 cups of coffee then mopped my kitchen floor then changed my sheets again then did two loads of laundry then danced but my dancing felt haunted not joyful and last night I drove to the store where I spent an insane $80 on absolutely nothing then almost hit a car as I attempted to drive out of the parking lot
my son has been driving me almost everywhere but he doesn't understand why even though I've tried to tell him and he won't be here until tomorrow
later yesterday afternoon I got a jury summons from Island County in the mail which means I'd have to drive an hour get on a ferry pay for said ferry then drive to the courthouse on Whidbey Island get there by 8 AM wait for 8 hours then drive home in the dark and that sent me spinning then I called my son and whined about it then I fretted
I ended up calling DOGNURSE to tell her I needed a note excusing me from jury duty because I can't drive myself I never know if I will be up or down or inside out and the thought of it terrifies me and now I'll have to speak to her on the telephone which is ugh then she'll want to see me for herself to judge my crazy and probably try to get me on her scales again ugh ugh ugh I also confessed my mixed features episode to her because they are rare and shrinks get really excited when they see it much like physicians seeing conjoined twins
my house is really clean though the floor sparkles the counters are crumb free the sheets are cotton clean and I am running in circles inside myself
Seroquel is an anti-psychotic
anti-psychotic
anti-psychotic
anti-psychotic
that's going to look so grand on my resume haha
according to WebMd if you're interested
What Are the Symptoms of a Mixed Features Episode?
Mixed episodes are defined by symptoms of mania and depression that occur at the same time or in rapid sequence without recovery in between..
- Mania with mixed features usually involves irritability, high energy, racing thoughts and speech, and overactivity or agitation.
yep this too especially all of it
- Depression during episodes with mixed features involves the same symptoms as in "regular" depression, with feelings of sadness, loss of interest in activities, low energy, feelings of guilt and worthlessness, and thoughts of suicide.
no feelings of suicide but the rest of it yes
so
back on the Zombie Seroquel anti-psychotic tonight thinking I might have to take one sooner maybe even two a day for a while in the past it has knocked me out with one dose this round is a bugger
dear Darklings
I am so glad you are here
posted by Radish King at 3:03 PM
8 Comments:
And I am so glad you are there.
What a horrible thing to go through. What a nightmare. You are one in a million, love. A beautiful, rare bird.
I hope you can get out of jury duty. That would be a different kind of nightmare.
Screw jury duty, just don’t go. They’re not going to arrest you. Hope that you feel better soon.
Love your way. May the seroquel work. May this pass. Fuck jury duty.
I'm so glad that you are there. And here, actually, on my screen and in my bedroom, in my heart. Be well.
Yes, it does describe it perfectly. Sadly for me, including the last one. I am lucky that I can mostly keep those thoughts at bay though, and my husband now recognizes the signs. I am glad you are here. I do not comment often, but I faithfully read. I am here with you - always.
Hope this passes soon dear poet. I'm so very sorry you are suffering. Much love.
Xoxo
Barbara
Here. Loving you.
Seroquel is my rescue drug, too. And it zonks me out out out. But, I have had a bit of Tardive in the past and have noticed it a wee bit with Seroquel. So, careful careful. And yes to the rapid cycling. And in a sort of tragic note, writing too much and reading too much has pushed me into baby mania.....and the preaching. Which is harrowing. I have learned lessons from you, how you have always said that there is no predicting it. My friend, my counselors, family, all tell me to breathe right and pay ATTENTION and I can prepare. Well, bullshit to that. My new plan is to prepare for FALLOUT. I cannot feel when I am in the swirl, esp. if I'm bracing during a crisis. And on the saddest note, too much Socializing does me in. And I'm an Extrovert writ large. I would eat your apples if I were there.
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