Saturday, June 15, 2019

Pig and farm report pt. 2

there's Prince Hal my feral kitty who is now an incredibly beautiful and muscular cat

this might be short because my brain is short having titrated up my tegretol dosage to the point of doddering stupidity in just two days and having eaten everything in the house and I'm not making this up I had no breakfast but I have five or six lunches also caused by titrating up my tegretol dosage and I keep gumming around inside my mouth like the paste we ate at in the 1950s thick and white no matter how much water I drink

yesterday was the first time I saw my new psychiatric nurse who is in Everett which is a 40 minute drive south a place with ample parking as opposed to a 4 hour round trip $20 parking in the middle of downtown Seattle not to mention the Ativan I had to take to get there the new nurse informed me of a few things that I will try to cram into this post before my brain collapses in on itself

remember when I wrote here that DOGNURSE told me she couldn't prescribe me anything other than the billion dollar drug because I was overmedicated? the new nurse took a peek in the DSM-5 and told me right off the get go that I was wildly under medicated I don't remember DOGNURSE ever checking the DSM-5 for anything I never saw it in her office thus the major tegretol uptick then I told the new psychiatric nurse about DOGNURSE waving away my telling her I had serious PTSD by saying oh don't we all have that and never treating me for it at all ever at any point in six years this pissed off new nurse who rose out of her chair like an ex marine nurse all huffed up for battle

finally someone other than my regulation doctor listened
new nurse prescribed doxazosin which is the same thing my regulation doctor prescribed but it wasn't $300 it was first used to treat men with prostate problems but then vets with PTSD at vet hospitals found out it helped them sleep and stopped nightmares night terrors random screaming hobgoblins evil elves devils firelegs lightning demons and etc strangely my insurance company told my pharmacy that I cannot have two of those at night only one so I am waiting for the pharmacy to hear back from new nurse before I can get that prescription filled

you can leave now if you're bored

I would

as I was going through the hour long intake process (after having filled out the 500 questions form from home) new nurse asked about my cocaine years which I have written of here obliquely she asked me what did the cocaine make you feel and I told her it immediately made me feel calm and she told me that normally people who did cocaine felt fasted sped up then she told me that my reaction to cocaine was like people with ADHD taking ritalin being sped up but feeling calmer inside of it

did you know that 70% of the population with bipolar disease also have ADHD?

did you know that ADHD makes you sometime unable to read that sometimes the words just seem to boil around on the page and make no sense?


I don't think DOGNURSE ever did any study to further herself in her field at least she never mentioned it though she went on a lot of vacations

this was a lot of information flowing in and as soon as I left new nurse's office I called DOGNURSE from my car and fired her she answered me by text this morning she wrote okay I know traffic is bad

then I went to taco time and ate some Mexifries or as we call them tater tots
with ranch dressing

I saw DOGNURSE for all those years and she never changed anything I was taking or did anything but ask how are you skinny? or how are you Deborah?

as I was leaving I asked to use new nurse's bathroom which is private the public restroom being downstairs and instead of the dusty purple potpourri in a clay bowl and a can of air freshener she had five shiney Transformers line up on a shelf like the most amazing aliens ever to land in a child's room


so

new nurse has a name



The Transformer

her name is new nurse
more than meets the eye

in other news there is a tiny foal now in the meadow with the lumpy cow and the first of my wild roses has bloomed

forgive me my goofs and typos in this post I suspect there are more than a few I will be back hopefully soon

I do believe I need to have seven or eight dinners now

Love



8 Comments:

Blogger Elle Clancy said...

Good for you for firing Dognurse. It takes courage to start anew, with people and with medications!

June 16, 2019 at 3:32 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

It is surprisingly hard. Thank you thank you for seeing it.
xo

June 16, 2019 at 5:40 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Oh my god, scrolling through this glorious writing and then the photo at the end. Reflection. Flower reflections. I am so glad that you have New Nurse. I laughed aloud at this: "I saw DOGNURSE for all those years and she never changed anything I was taking or did anything but ask how are you skinny? or how are you Deborah?" I hope that doesn't offend you because up to that I was thinking I'd love to go beat DogNurse up -- at least in my mind. I was thinking, "fuck dognurse." I love you.

June 16, 2019 at 11:06 PM  
Blogger Adie Das said...

I already like NewNurse.

Silly : everytime i read 'vet', i think veterinarian...

June 17, 2019 at 7:48 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Elizabeth not offended! It is funny. And funny awful. But funny too.
XO

June 17, 2019 at 12:58 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

Okay I know the traffic is bad??? Holy hell. I am glad you fired her. I hope the transformer nurse transforms though I get why struck through the name. But it's a good one for one with shiny fighters on her shelf. Hope is hard and scary. But I feel so hopeful about new nurse. Brave, you.

June 18, 2019 at 4:12 AM  
Blogger LKD said...

NEW NURSE! Hoorah!

June 23, 2019 at 10:55 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Laurel indeed such a massive relief just in time for summer which is always the absolute best for me and I found your poem blog finally and read straight through.
❤️

June 26, 2019 at 11:25 AM  

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