Pig and farm report

yesterday I turned on the bathroom faucet to brush my teeth and barely a trickle of water ran out and I checked all the faucets in the house the same the same the same and panic stuck its needle teeth into my throat and tore and I stopped breathing as my heart hammered out of my chest I pried the nails out of the closet in which the water heater lives but there was no water in the floor no sign of a leak tears creeping around the edges of my face then I got my little accordion box decorated in blue and green daisies where I keep my business papers I found the owner of our neighborhood well I called and Karen who answered the phone said do you live in So and So (my ridiculous neighborhood name) I said yes and she said they had to shut down the main line for an hour or so no worries no worries at all not one worry and I laughed like an authentic crazy person and hung up then dropped my head between my knees so I would not would not faint and waited for the water to start up again

will I ever not think like a person living in dire poverty?
will I ever not fear something broken that I cannot fix or get fixed?
will I ever not fear summonsing the Slumlord who won't show up for a month no matter the season?
will I ever?

I hope so
after that all the water was brown for a while so I had to turn on all the faucets and run the dishwasher empty and the tub and washing machine and for a wee bit I worried about the bill then I remembered it's still just $300 a year period instead of $250 a month which is what I was literally paying in Seattle
just that

speaking of the dishwasher I decided to get in there and clean it on Monday I removed its loose bits and pried open the filter which I believe had never been previously pried open and went at it with white distilled vinegar a wire brush and about 352 Q-Tips™ and I scraped off hardened water with a butter knife pieces of calcified water flicking around me onto my pristine floor and I dug out gunk with the Q-Tips™ look I've never had owned or even used a dishwasher before but I had an inkling it might need to be washed even though that seems counter-intuitive thank you baby Jesus for Youtube to tell me how to do it what a strangely satisfying two hours it was thank you baby Jesus also for latex gloves because I do not and I mean DO NOT like to touch anything icky ever

The End.