Thursday, March 22, 2018

Dear Vogue,

I never asked for the free guest subscription and I threw every single magazine you sent away while it was still in its prophylactic plastic wrapper. I hate Vogue because it has nothing to do with my way of life my style or anything about me at all but mostly I hate Vogue because it stinks. Literally stinks. The awful perfume samples smeared on strips of narrow paper put my sensitive sinuses in a roar. And I TRULY did not appreciate the fake letter you sent today through the US mail that contained no return address (of course because then I would have thrown it away along with your stanky magazines) that was marked FINAL NOTICE which made me panic a wee bit because I'm still waiting for bills from my recent cancer screenings. Imagine my disgust when I opened the fake letter with my sweaty little paws. Shame on you Vogue and fuck you.

Rebecca The-Less-Than-Smelly Loudon

3 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Oh well. This is how we differ. I love a good, fat Vogue with junkie-thin models wearing clothes only a stout old society queen could afford designed by men who love men and probably hate women. I don't know why. But I do.
There is my confession.

March 22, 2018 at 2:37 PM  
Blogger Ms. Moon said...

P.S. I have never had a subscription and haven't bought one in years so there is that, too.

March 22, 2018 at 2:38 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

I should have sent you mine!

March 22, 2018 at 2:43 PM  

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