Pig and farm report

Dear Darklings,

Good morning from the forest bright and dark yesterday early afternoon I lost my internet signal in the house or possibly on the island this morning I called our provider Our Provider and asked if a tree was down which happens sometimes and he said it was our house signal not something happening on the island then three seconds after he told me we'll have someone out there Tuesday between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. which is worse than the Cable Guy seriously I told him that was unacceptable and I asked for reimbursement cash for the days without and he said okay I tried not to gnaw his face off then I hung up the phone and the signal was "suddenly" working who knows who knows I am more isolated out here I told myself even though that is a lie I was the same exact isolated in the city my choice I know it but I wasn't about to tell "Curtis" the not very helpful tech support I did however ask ARE YOU NEW? in my iciest Evil Rebecca voice he did sound new and clearly did not know what he was doing I could hear it in his voice that hesitation that digging around his desk for the list with the answers the cheat sheet so to speak

addicted to internet?
yes probably
it seems I get addicted to everything except my own goddamn crazy

I am not happy with the poem I posted yesterday but I chickened out and went cold because I really wanted to write about how terrifying it is to post in a dead room in a forum that feels empty of people but not of poetry but the real terror is writing every single day digging down and going forward and if I don't dig down then I will never be happy with the poem not now not ever again going back in today

thank you Darklings for reading here thank you for never making this place feel like a dead room

I did get up Wednesday morning at 2:30 went to the bathroom sat on the toilet then promptly fainted (again this has been happening to me since I was 9 years old but I sure as hell do not bounce back quite as quickly) fell off the toilet onto my right side woke who knows how much later with my hand in the waste basket which I pulled over on my journey out could not walk at all so I lay on the cold tile for a bit then I was able to sit up (caution: I sleep naked always have) and I scooted on my butt (cats and dogs do this we've all seen it and it can be unfortunately hilarious when we see it but less hilarious when it is a human action and spectacularly horrifying when I do it) out of the bathroom still too weak to stand and into my carpeted bedroom still scooting on my butt where I pulled myself up my bed by grabbing the quilt then Jupiter jumped up and stretched out by my side and whenever I drifted off she took my wrist very gently in her mouth and shook me awake which is how cats tend their kittens and it's a good thing she was there because yesterday afternoon I discovered dried blood in my hair so I did hit my head and hard and if I concussed I should not have fallen asleep oh oh it is true the Animal Gods watch over me I washed the blood out of my hair this morning and hopefully removed any pine needles or cat fur or bog knows what else from my tender insides after scooting across the vast empire of Summer's End today my left side is bruised from my foot all the way up my leg and my ribs have ached since I fell alas this is WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION so forgive me my crimes my Buicks my ramblers my rambling all of it

now to fetch my chainsaw and Annie Oakley myself out to my forest to make sure no trees have fallen we are expecting another 50 mph windstorm today

Love