Pig and farm report

  "You do not understand pigs," said the bird, whirling. "Pigs have an angel." Whereupon she whistled like an express train and a small cactus rose out of the earth and slid into the bowl which the bird had left at her feet.

 She said: "Piu, Piu, Little Servant, cut yourself into bits and feed yourself to the pigs so they become inspired with Pig Angel."
  The cactus called Piu cut himself into little round bits with a knife so sharp and fast it was impossible to behold.

A Mexican Fairytale, from The Complete Stories Of Leonora Carrington

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All I have been doing is reading my depression is gone but my brain is slow moving and thick though I cleaned the house top to bottom I am sleeping at night though each morning I wake at 2:30 AM the milk hour and Jupiter comes in and leans her heavy silken weight against me and purrs and that allows me to go back to sleep

I haven't talked to my neighbor since our first encounter but yesterday I went out and cut all the snow berries the long bendy branches as many as I could carry because she wanted them to make wreaths and they are all over my forest and I took them to her house and knocked but she didn't answer or wasn't there so I left them on her step with a pot of raspberry jam that I made last summer I suspect she is shy in the way that I am shy

three nights ago I went into the pitch black forest to fetch the mail not even a star to see and there are no street lights here I thought I knew the path by heart I thought I was fleet footed but I stepped on a large rock with my right foot and crashed down onto my right side feeling first to make sure the lens hadn't come free from my glasses then sitting on the rock then standing and as I made my way back down the hill to the house I thought I had a concussion because I could not see out of my left eye but it turns out I had drastically bent my glasses frame so I was only seeing out of one eye I have a bruised cheek and a goose egg on my left shin and a goose egg on my right shin and a banged up right knee and an appointment with the next town over optometrist next week

this morning the sun is out and it is cold and I made the graham cracker crust for a cheesecake and my kitchen smelled like Jesus's baptism day and then realized that I have no sour cream for the batter or strawberries for the coulis so today will be a store day which I dread 

Leonora Carrington is kicking me all over the place such rich and fantastical writing that and the safety and comfort of this house and my Animal Gods keep me afloat these days waiting waiting for my feathers my fire to return

Love to you Darklings now that the nights are stretched into days pray for me and the two turkeys who live next door to Jack the Egg Man where the Andy Warhol chicken lives one gray one black everyday everyday everyday I check to make sure they are still alive this is a version of hope