We can’t all be winners part 2
I just walked out the door for my daily foray to the beach stepped off the porch and my knee collapsed and I landed on my butt with my left arm on a frozen pumpkin and my right arm on my purse which probably saved my wrists fortunately my son is here and he helped me navigate the step back into the house and into my bed where I will probably starve to death for the next few days because he is so fucking healthy and at least for the moment I cannot make it to the kitchen so no soup and no bread either not even the monster kind it’s vegetables and fruit for me maybe a small cube of cheese if I beg
Where is all that illegal OxyContin when you really kneed it (I despise puns but there it is) oh god I have to fucking just lie here and listen to the pioneer woman squeal on and on btw did you know she and her little family are the 6th largest land owners in the US please don’t buy her crap at WalFart
I may become a nuciance here on account of sudden and severe lack of mobility
Look at Prince Hal he has become a major cat
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!
I just asked my son to pop a bagel in the toaster for me and he said do you want me to make you some eggs they’re so much better for you and I had to say NO A BAGEL IS FINE WITH BUTTER see what I mean? and now he’s threatening not to leave for the orchard Thursday as he had previously planned
Where is all that illegal OxyContin when you really kneed it (I despise puns but there it is) oh god I have to fucking just lie here and listen to the pioneer woman squeal on and on btw did you know she and her little family are the 6th largest land owners in the US please don’t buy her crap at WalFart
I may become a nuciance here on account of sudden and severe lack of mobility
Look at Prince Hal he has become a major cat
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!
I just asked my son to pop a bagel in the toaster for me and he said do you want me to make you some eggs they’re so much better for you and I had to say NO A BAGEL IS FINE WITH BUTTER see what I mean? and now he’s threatening not to leave for the orchard Thursday as he had previously planned
posted by Radish King at 1:08 PM
6 Comments:
Oh my god. I just commented on your last post and now I see this. NOT good news. Oh, Rebecca! Do you have a knee brace stashed away somewhere? I think you need one. I hope you are icing that knee.
Prince Hal is too splendid for words.
I LOVE puns and yours is a classic. Sorry to hear about the knee problem. I know it sucks.
Your son is a good son. I am remembering that you fell in the dark a little while back. Could you have hurt your knee then, and now it's a little weak. Please ice it and elevate it, and take it slow. What do you need while you're laid up? What would make life easier for you?
I'm so sorry you collapsed and hurt your knee, but can I say that the second paragraph is just so rocking good that I burst out laughing? I hate puns, too, but yours are sublime. Get better.
Yes, your son is indeed a good man and I'm glad he's there. Swift healing, dear poet. I loathe Pioneer woman and her crappy merchandise. Prince Hal is truly magnificent!
Xoxo
Barbara
If it makes you feel any better, I fell on my FACE in August. I was leaving work, tripped on a curb and broke my fall with my face. I bounced back up from the sidewalk so fast that I didn't realize what had actually happened until one of my coworkers ran up to me asking, are you okay, do you need a kleenex, you're bleeding. Seriously. I ended up with a small hole in my FACE, a through and through laceration that required stitches inside my mouth and just above my lip. So. You know. This falling shit is RIDICULOUS. But I am heartened to hear that you are generally okay. Also, your Prince Hal is actually a king. No more falling, Bear Girl. Okay? I will catch you if you fall. But, really, NO MORE FALLING.
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