17 of these eerie jellyfish stranded themselves on my beach two days ago maybe they were warning me not to go to Walmart with my son where I wandered around found a soft pink fleece hoodie for $11.00 then had a panic attack so severe standing there gripping the hoodie in the middle of the almost empty store that my heart hammered and gripped my chest and my shoulder muscles cramped then rolled into my neck then rolled up the back of my head I had to stop two strangers and tell them I can’t find the cashier and I can’t find my son then I think I’m having a panic attack

the man and woman were surprisingly kind as they guided me to the front of the store and my son who was waiting for me there he paid for the hoodie soft and fleecy pink and I held onto his arm and we made it to his truck

I was and still am humiliated
please don’t tell me that this is okay that I am okay
I’m not okay I felt like I was in a fender bender for two days after
do not don’t ever tell me to breathe ever

I didn’t want to write it here but when something big or awful happens I can’t write here my diary without writing through it

I am embarrassed to have my crazy out in the world I don’t feel okay about it

Side note:

I honestly believe at this juncture that the tiny pig fucker king could shoot or stab someone on the White House lawn then walk up the steps to his helicopter and calmly fly away with absolutely no consequences 

it is an extremely dangerous time to live in Terrible America

for all of us

ps. In order to end on a happier note I confess that I had double caramel ice cream bars for breakfast and for dinner today