Sunday, November 10, 2019

Christmas Cow

I have become that person and I don't care the Christmas cow fills me with light and joy and good humor and hot chocolate and melted cheese and tinsel and candy and figs because you have to admit she's funny the bell around her neck actually rings dear bog

I have felt this specific joy for six years now especially around the mayonnaise based holidays that used to pinch and anger and hurt I wondered once if I would ever get through a Christmas morning without sobbing I wrote last year about holding Christmas in my heart like Jesus and that is precisely how I feel again only obscenely early (according to my darling son) my darling son is one of the main reasons I feel so goddamn jolly that and the fact that I've been able to save $5000.00 this year by socking away money a set amount every payday and each time I wanted a book and got a library book instead I put the money the book would have cost me into my savings account and that gray cashmere sweater at Macy's I've been looking at and pining for each time I finally decide to buy it I instead put that sweater money in my savings account and each time I wanted to buy anything impulsive I resisted and saved the money and here I am flush at almost Christmas

I spent four hours today building a lasagna for my son a lasagna with bechamel and marinara and ricotta and mascarpone and mushrooms and fresh chopped spinach and zucchini and onion a couple months ago I had to replace my six year old iPhone because the phone could no longer support the OS other than that the phone looked brand new because I really barely use it the new phone was fucking expensive and now my son's phone no longer holds a charge so I told him I would buy him one in December because I depend on him to have one so I can call him if for instance I fall on my head and break my neck and need to call for help and because he does so much for me I don't write about it here but I am not able to function well on my own for more than a month at a time I haven't been able to work since before I lost my job at the big airplane company the truth is my son is my caregiver the truth is I am crazier than you might think and I need help a lot of help sometimes oftentimes I cannot even drive myself to the store much less clean pine needles off the roof and that boy man saves my life all the time so I told him yep on payday December 1 I will buy him a new phone but I told him they are exorbitant so that's probably all he's going to get for Christmas


I lied!

yep and I have already bought all his Christmas gifts including a gorgeous cozy lumberjack plaid giant blanket for his bed a grown up stick blender and a brand new iPad because he has never had a computer of his own and he keeps asking me to watch videos on his phone which makes me bonkers but mostly because he is an amazing human being who never complains about anything he is so exceptional I can't even believe it

the lasagna is in the oven my son is on his way home so I have to hide the Christmas cow for one more month and I am happy in my deep stupid heart

love to you Darklings in this green season


Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Oh, how I wish you could send me about a teaspoon of Christmas goodness for the heart. I'm afraid I have been emptied and drained and squeezed until there isn't the tiniest drop of it left in me.
But I tell you what- it cheers me so much to know that you have it in your heart.
I love how you love your son. He is going to be thrilled with his Christmas.
And by the way- your Christmas cow is charming. I would say "udderly" charming but I hate puns.

November 10, 2019 at 3:18 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Mary I have a feeling those kids are going to put the spirit of Christmas in you if you want it or not XO

November 10, 2019 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger Ms. Moon said...

Hasn't happened so far.

November 10, 2019 at 4:11 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Your boy sounds sublime. And if I get through this particularly gruesome time in my life, I am going to feel ready for early Christmas, and if not, well, not.

November 11, 2019 at 12:18 AM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

this makes me happy. your boy is so worth it.

November 11, 2019 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Darling Elizabeth I am so sorry it is a gruesome season for you and by season I mean however long the grue lasts because it is toothy I think of your time here at Whidbey and how you enjoyed the green foggy expanse of it and I send those foggy arms to hold you. Love, Rebecca

November 11, 2019 at 12:41 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dear R, thank you. Our boys you know? Our good sons. We are so lucky!

November 11, 2019 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Penelope said...

I am happy to hear you are full to overflowing with Christmas giving spirit. Maybe it will rub off on the rest of us bah humbugs. Your son is a great blessing and I feel sure he will be delighted.
I do think Santa would want you to have that cashmere sweater to reward you for your penny pinching and your generosity.
That lasagna description made me drool a little.

November 11, 2019 at 5:43 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

That cow fills me with joy too! Wish I could smell your forest and that lovely bread. ‘‘Tis the season of bread making! Your son is going to love his presents, I’m so glad you have this beautiful soul in your life. Much love to all.

November 13, 2019 at 8:06 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Penelope surprisingly my Christmas spirit has remained intact. I still consider the cashmere but I am trying to buy fewer unnecessary things. When I first moved here three years ago I really didn’t have anything and I had to buy so much just to set up a household. It was daunting but now I have sweaters and coat and shoes without comfort and I hold that steadiness in my heart.

November 15, 2019 at 9:58 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Barbara I was hoping you’d see the Christmas cow. She even has a little udder with pale pink nipples ahhhh she is such a welcome presence!
Love Rebecca

November 15, 2019 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Penelope I meant to write shoes without holes not without comfort yikes!

November 18, 2019 at 6:47 AM  

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