Saturday, May 27, 2017

Crazy

He said do you have any Keebler Elves or peanut butter crackers or Kellogg items in the clappboards  you’d better throw them away. Yes I said then I asked why from the deep down of my bed the fog and deep deep down. Because he said salmonella poisoning in every one with a secret hidden hiccup in his voice but I lied I have nothing of the sort in my clappboards  and never have but I was immediately Tipi Hedren on the set of an Alfred Hitchcock movie with a ladder in my stocking and something weird inside my hair I have forgotten my lines and I’m going to be in trouble. Come here come here roll on top of me he said let's build a fort of our bodies your peanut butter crackers are safe as milk which is never safe not for me or the cow or Captain Beefheart or Tipi Hedren who knows better now with her animal preserve and perfectly coiffed hair. The fog is thick enough I could throw a ball into it and it would not accept its trajectory. It would simply hover like a bad prop from a janitor’s closet at Universal Studios. Good morning. I've been planting poppies radishes and cucumbers in pearls and my sky blue dress. I have recently cut my benzodiazepine intake by half and it makes me sick to my stomach and shaky and even weirder than usual. What are you up to on this truly Saturnday morning Darklings?


17 Comments:

Blogger Ms. Moon said...

I am reading pickle recipes and realizing I'm going to have to go to the store to get dill seed and pickling salt and dammit, I do not want to go to the store NOT ONE BIT.

May 27, 2017 at 9:54 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

I don't blame you! I think about going to the store for the only food group left to me...hummus...and I kick myself for not buying chickpeas. In love and solidarity.

May 27, 2017 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

I am here, reading you, giving in to the not knowing and hoping you feel better in your stomach as the day goes on. Love.

May 27, 2017 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dearest R, thank you. My whole body trembles now I have to keep moving moving like a shark. Plenty of room here for that all the room in the world. Love you kind fascinating woman. 🌹

May 27, 2017 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger A Cuban In London said...

As you usual, my Saturdays are full of cycling to interesting places in London. And Sundays, sometimes, too. :-)

Greetings from London.

May 27, 2017 at 1:27 PM  
Blogger liv said...

To what 20 year old woman do those legs belong?

My daughter moved out today. I went and bought silverware because she accidentally took all of mine. I'm trying not to look at the empty room - so I am reading my stupid romance novel and drinking tomato juice sans vodka - I must remedy that xoxox

May 27, 2017 at 3:08 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dear London, hello! I have been dreaming of buying a bicycle for since forever. I saw a retro pink Schwann in a store window in Anacortes. I must go back when I can and when I can. Hello twice!

May 27, 2017 at 5:07 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Liv oh honey I can't even imagine what you must be feeling through all this but alone must be one of those things. Hold on love hold on.

May 27, 2017 at 5:09 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

ps. The legs are the last thing to go so I've heard. I've been working my way through my self loathing by posting photos of myself something I've only recently begun. It has helped a bit. Thank you!

May 27, 2017 at 5:11 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

ps.ps. That was supposed to be Schwinn not Schwann. Sheesh.

May 27, 2017 at 5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's one of the best descriptions of fog I've ever read. I can always visualize things so strongly through your writing. Your dress is a wonderful shade if blue. I want a room that exact color. Love and joyful planting!!
Xoxo
Barbara

May 27, 2017 at 6:02 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Barbara thank you! I love that Little dress and this morning I noticed it is the exact color of the nightlight my son installed to keep me from oh for instance breaking my toe on the wall as I run through the house. Xxxxoooo

May 27, 2017 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger LKD said...

Coveting those red plaid boots.
And, those girly legs. I'm long past the days of loathing every single inch of myself, but, honestly, my legs are veiny and not at all girly.

The blue dress conjure Alice in her Wonderland instantly for me.

You go, girlyleg beargirl. You go, girl.

May 28, 2017 at 12:31 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dear clueless NO BLOG WHORES ALLOWED I HAVE REPORTED YOU

May 29, 2017 at 6:02 PM  
Blogger riley dog said...

Good stuff. Thank you.

May 29, 2017 at 7:02 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Laurel those are my wellies for the garden and general foresty muck. My self loathing isn't physical it's my inner self that I was trained by my entire family to loathe. It takes a while to heal from that type of trauma. Sending love to you!

June 11, 2017 at 1:19 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Riley Dog, hello and LOVE YOU!

June 11, 2017 at 1:20 PM  

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