Thursday, July 6, 2017

The Lazy R Ranch

I feel lazy today not in the pejorative way more in the way of cattle branding or how folks in the olden days used to call my Ex-Glamorous Job The Lazy B because of the slant of that initial on its logo

yesterday I called DOGNURSE and canceled my appointment for today I got in under her 24 hour deadline so I won't get charged for my canceling this after spending quite a bit of time with her accountant wondering why I got billed twice the exact same bill with the exact same medical codes (after a while you learn to read these codes) one for $42 and another for $132 apparently she sometimes charges me for talk therapy (which we don't do we only do meds) and sometimes she just charges me for meds I did end up paying her full price after three years because Medicaid didn't pay even though when I called Medicaid they said she was covered or I was covered with her and she also said she was licensed for Medicaid which she later denied saying

I know

only one more year with her then I can get off disability and be on regulation Social Security and it will be a blessing I am doing my best to only see her every three months which means I have to lie and tell her I'M FEELING JUST GREAT THANK YOU then take my prescriptions and run like hell only one more year only four more visits and I will find a great shrink one whom I actually trust one who remembers my name one who lives near me not two hours away not one who essentially cheats and lies

I told her I was too manic to drive today which is the truth I didn't tell her that my manic uptick was starting to sizzle down until I remembered my appointment with her I didn't tell her that seeing her seeing any human other than my son causes me terrible anxiety though I have told her in the past I have told her over and over remember when I told her I had PTSD and she said Oh that's no big deal we all have PTSD these days then I asked her if she hid in the closet whenever her phone rang or someone knocked at her door? very unprofessional ugh double ugh

sorry to go on about this she really pisses me off

and yes I feel lazy today my son is coming home later this afternoon and there is much I thought I would do like mop and turn on the vacuuming robot and maybe cook something instead I am filled with STOPPED-NESS my body today demands that I lie about and watch the monarch butterflies with Jupiter my body demands that I eat cake for breakfast my body demands that I continue cooking the marinara that I started yesterday instead of putting it in jars and freezing it for the future because simply turning on the fire under the pot was easier I did manage to take a bath and wash my hair and I wrote two letters and I washed the floaty starfish quilt that drags me into the dreamocean at night and I washed some dishes turned on the half full dishwasher and I took the garbage and recycling out to the bins that's about it

the lazy days of summer and the delicious naughty feeling of skipping school or calling in sick to work when you feel 100%

cake for lunch too I'm thinking

I will come back and answer all your lovely comments when my bee-stung finger heals right now it is slimed up with Neosporin and covered with a bandaid but my finger is so hot that the Neosporin is melting and oozing out and got the letter L greasy on my beautiful Mac plus I have to type everything three times because I touch type and being out a digit makes my typing ;ook ike this



Blogger 6279 said...

Thank you for being. Plus please don't feel you ought to say sorries for saying your own RealTruth. Truth can't be stifled not really it still seeps out like the goop from the beestung bandaid finger hat akes me type ike this 2!

If I ever saw your DOGNURSE and knew that was them I'd be hardpressed to not presshard my fist onto her mug because really how can she be SUCH a thoughtless twaddleDeeDee?!

Cake is lovely is a platform my friend used to say for buttery cream icing!

July 6, 2017 at 3:25 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

it is good to have humans in our lives who do not make us anxious. i have a few, and i count them precious. strangely for me, i was not anxious the evening i met you. when i met you i understood why. glad to hear the manic uptick is sizzling down—i love the way you use language!

July 6, 2017 at 3:36 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

and the why of it was that it felt like meeting someone who i had known for lifetimes and had been missing in this one till i saw you. xo

July 6, 2017 at 3:37 PM  
Blogger 37paddington said...

who-->whom (i make that mistake a lot)

July 6, 2017 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dear 6279, thank you! I will send you a photo of her in case you are ever in Seattle...Ha! This cake is pure sugar and egg whites. Frosting would collapse it. However I've been known to make a delicious butter cream icing and eat the entire bowl of said icing on one single graham cracker because Graham crackers are healthy. 😉

July 6, 2017 at 3:40 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

Dearest R, I felt exactly the same about you! Something so rare in my life as to feel miraculous. I want more time with you of course. Love truly madly and deeply.

July 6, 2017 at 3:42 PM  
Blogger Radish King said...

ps. Who whom sometimes i get it right sometimes I forget. I say it doesn't matter at all. XO

July 6, 2017 at 3:43 PM  
Blogger Joanne said...

I hate DOGNURSE. What an ass. I love you. Happy birthday month! I'm going to Wisconsin to see my sister. I'm going to write you❤️

July 6, 2017 at 10:30 PM  

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